| February 17th, 2006 |
When Hernan Garcia comes to mind several words are immediately associated; majestic, serene, temperate, coordinated, and nice are not among these words. No, as his friends can testify, the essence of Hernan is difficult, if not impossible, to define with simple two dimensional words; even three dimensional words would be hard pressed to muster a viable definition. However, the outside world might find this afore mentioned list of words quite suitable for describing Hernan. This fact raises many fundamental questions as to the true nature of Mr. Garcia. Is his soul ravaged by the unbridled fury of one thousand suns going supernova, as his behavior might suggest, or is Hernan’s essence more like a light rain with the occasional cloud break? This is the primary question we hope to address in this analysis. Join us, if you dare, as we undertake an expedition into one of the least understood and least explored regions of our world, into the mind of Hernan Garcia. All of Hernan’s friends have observed the wild personality fluctuations that Hernan is subject to. Scientists have yet to determine just what drives this oscillatory behavior pattern, and many believe that uncovering the mysteries within Hernan’s consciousness may be an unattainable goal, given the limitations of modern day technology. However, we are not without hope, many breakthroughs have been made in recent years in the effort to effectively model Hernan’s personality. Through careful observation, researchers have discovered a direct and stunning correlation between the quantity of beef Hernan consumes and the volatility of his personality. When interviewed renowned Garcolagist Scott Thompson had this to say about the effect of meat on Hernan’s demeanor, “A big steak really seems to act as a stabilizing agent, reducing both the number and intensity of Hernan’s fluctuations. We also observe a drastic upward shift in personality after consuming a large quantity of meat, it’s almost as if he enters a state of euphoria.”(Thompson) With all this research in support of the unstable Garcia model, can we really formulate a viable argument for the temperate soul? Could Hernan really just be a nice guy? Observers have noted that Hernan Garcia does not display the same radical tendencies at school as he does to his close friends and family. He appears to the world as a mild mannered, “nice” individual, with perhaps a hint of anger. So how can we explain this drastic deviation in Hernan’s character? We believe that his nice personality is a vital characteristic that must have evolved into the Garcia over hundreds of years. This trait is a survival tactic that allows Hernan to interact with normal human beings, and not be perceived as insane. While his close friends find the contrast between his spontaneous irate ranting and childlike irrepressible glee to be extremely humorous, an ancient culture might abandon or sacrifice Hernan out of fear that his “disease” might be infectious. Clearly this would not occur in a more developed culture, but his “nice” trait has not yet become obsolete. Though it is not likely that Hernan would be ritualistically sacrificed in a developed culture, there is still a strong possibility that he would be deemed insane. Such a title would serve to limit his interactions with society and would not bode well for survival, even in a modern day society. Thus we posit that it is the passionate and angry Hernan that lies at the heart of the beast; the beast simply wears a fuzzy mask to hide his ferocious nature. This ability to appear to be “nice” serves as a mask for Hernan protecting his true nature from the world. It keeps him safe, and prevents the unbridled fury and frenzied abandon of his soul from wreaking havoc on the world. Similarly, the mighty superman takes on the disguise of the mild mannered Clark Kent. This disguise allows him to acquire a level of safety from his enemies, and it allows him to fit-in to normal society. Without his alter ego, superman would be unable to carry on even the semblance of a normal life. It is for these same reasons that Hernan dawns his fuzzy mask. It affords him a level of safety from potential enemies, as well as those who might fail to appreciate the mystery and wonder that lie in he heart of Hernan. Additionally, it allows him to blend in with normal society, analogous to an emulator that allows Hernan to interface with the rest of the world. At the same time this fuzzy mask deprives the world of the wonder that is truly Hernan Garcia. |
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